Guiding couples toward a Christ-centered marriage, Brad and Stacey Boyette share over 40 years of marital wisdom and spiritual insights. 5 Priorities of a Godly Marriage is their heartfelt guide to strengthening faith, love, and family.
Thumbs Up - Why God Must Be First in Your Marriage
In the pursuit of a godly marriage, there is no priority more important than placing God first. Brad and Stacey Boyette’s 5 Priorities of a Godly Marriage opens with this essential truth: your relationship with the Lord determines the strength and direction of all other aspects of your marriage.
Many couples, often without realizing it, build their lives around children, careers, or even each other, leaving God as an afterthought. But the Boyettes remind us that this reversal of priorities results in imbalance. Using the image of a thumb touching all fingers, they show how God touches and influences every other area of life. Without a strong spiritual foundation, everything else wobbles.
Spiritual disciplines like daily Bible reading, prayer, worship, and service are not legalistic obligations—they are practices that draw us closer to God and deepen our marital bond. The pursuit of holiness, as they describe, is not passive. It’s intentional, and it’s often hard work. But it is worth it. God desires intimacy with His children and is jealous for our attention. In a world full of distractions, choosing to place God at the center is both radical and necessary.
A marriage rooted in spiritual discipline and driven by shared devotion is one that thrives. The Boyettes don’t offer a magic formula—they offer something more powerful: a biblical blueprint. When God is truly first, everything else finds its rightful place.
Your Spouse is Second to None (Except God)
The second priority in 5 Priorities of a Godly Marriage is your spouse. While God must be first, your husband or wife comes next—and deserves a place of honor, care, and intimacy. Brad and Stacey Boyette emphasize that after our relationship with God, no other human relationship should come close to the one we share with our spouse.
Genesis 2 gives the first glimpse of God’s design for marriage. Adam was not meant to be alone, and God provided a helper suitable for him. This design is more than companionship; it’s covenant. Yet so many couples allow their marriages to fall into a pattern of emotional distance, spiritual separation, or physical neglect.
The Boyettes encourage couples to grow in three specific areas of intimacy: spiritual, emotional, and physical. All three are needed for a balanced, thriving relationship. They draw the image of a triangle—if one side is missing, the structure is incomplete.
Spiritual intimacy means praying together, worshiping together, and studying God’s Word as one. Emotional intimacy comes through honest, vulnerable communication and generous listening. Physical intimacy, too, is God-designed and sacred, not to be neglected or devalued.
True marital closeness does not happen by accident. It is cultivated intentionally, prayerfully, and with humility. In honoring your spouse above all others—parents, children, friends—you are following God’s design. And in doing so, you open your marriage to flourish in ways that glorify Him.
Raising Children with Purpose and Faith
When children come into a marriage, everything changes. But as Brad and Stacey Boyette wisely point out in 5 Priorities of a Godly Marriage, children are not meant to become the center of a marriage—they are the third priority, not the first.
The Bible teaches us to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6), and this training is more than behavior correction. It’s discipleship. The Boyettes stress that spiritual growth in children begins with the example and guidance of the parents. If a couple is disconnected or spiritually stagnant, their children will absorb those same patterns.
Family discipleship requires a plan. The Boyettes recommend engaging in regular Bible reading, prayer, and involvement in a faith community. The goal is not just to raise good kids—but to raise godly ones. And the most effective method is modeling what you want them to become.
They also address the important balance between discipline and grace, structure and flexibility. Parenting is hard, and every season brings new challenges. But when God is first and your spouse is second, the work of parenting becomes more joyful, more unified, and more fruitful.
The impact of godly parenting does not stop at childhood. It leaves a legacy—one that echoes through generations.
Providing Without Losing Perspective
Work is important. It provides stability, resources, and often, a sense of purpose. But in 5 Priorities of a Godly Marriage, Brad and Stacey Boyette remind readers that career is the fourth priority in a godly marriage—not the first.
Too many marriages suffer because one or both spouses place their job above everything else. Long hours, emotional exhaustion, and unchecked ambition can erode the foundation of even the most promising relationship. The Boyettes challenge readers to reframe work as a form of worship—a calling, not an idol.
God created work, but He also created rest. Sabbath is not optional; it’s a divine gift. The balance of labor and rest allows couples to thrive both professionally and personally. The Boyettes share practical insights on how to navigate demanding careers without sacrificing spiritual health or marital intimacy.
A God-centered view of work recognizes that success is not defined by promotions or paychecks but by faithfulness. Your job is part of your provision for your family—but it should never become your identity. When career is kept in its proper place, it becomes a blessing rather than a burden.
The Power of Play in Marriage
In a list of godly priorities, personal interests may seem like an afterthought. But Brad and Stacey Boyette make it clear in 5 Priorities of a Godly Marriage that the fifth priority—hobbies and personal joy—is still a meaningful part of a strong, Christ-centered relationship.
They use the image of the pinky finger to symbolize this final priority. It’s the smallest, yes, but still necessary. When couples completely abandon their personal joys or shared interests, they risk burnout, boredom, or resentment. God created us with creativity, laughter, and joy in mind.
The Boyettes encourage couples to find activities they both enjoy—whether it’s gardening, hiking, traveling, or simply playing games together. Personal interests shouldn’t be escape routes from your spouse but avenues for connection. They remind us that play is a gift and an invitation to delight in each other.
Maintaining joy in marriage means making time for rest and recreation. It’s not indulgent—it’s wise. Just as God delights in His children, we too are called to delight in one another. When all five priorities are rightly ordered, joy naturally follows.
